Trent's Touchdown - BCS Bowls

It’s all come down to this. The last handful of bowl games and the end of the 2008 season is here. It seems like just yesterday I was reading some article in USA Today and some columnist was mentioning a possible Clemson/Georgia National Championship Game. Excuse me while I go cry in the corner.

Anyway, on to the last Touchdown of the year.

1) The FedEx National Championship Game – No. 1 Oklahoma vs. No. 2 Florida – 1/8 at 8:00 on FOX

I know that once this game starts, I’ll be counting the minutes until ESPN actually gets the rights to the BCS Bowls.

Seriously though, is there anything I’m going to write here that hasn’t been covered, ad nauseum, somewhere else. Since each team's one loss, they have been treating their opponents like a red headed stepchild. And these games haven’t been against pushovers either.

Oklahoma has one of the most prolific offenses in the nation, with two RB’s with over 1000 yards rushing and 4 WR’s with over 600 yards receiving, and led by the Heisman Trophy winner at QB.

Florida, on the other hand, has last year’s Heisman Trophy winner at QB and Percy Harvin, the best all-purpose threat in the country. As much as I want to say this game is going to come down to defense (the speedy Florida D is something that Oklahoma hasn’t faced all year), I really think it comes down to Tebow.

Ever since the Ole Miss loss, he has been like a man possessed. He has thrown his team on his back and will do anything and everything to make sure Florida wins. Due to this, I think Florida does exactly that.


2) The Allstate Sugar Bowl – No. 4 Alabama vs. No. 6 Utah – 1/2 at 8:00 on FOX

A year after the Hawaii debacle, it’s good to see the Sugar Bowl taking another flier on a non-BCS school.

This game is going to be Alabama’s defense against Utah’s offense. Utah has a very balanced attack that can either take you out on the ground or shred you through the air. But they are going to need all the help they can get against one of the best defenses in the nation. I don’t care how many rushing yards you have, you are going to have trouble gaining ground against Alabama.

On the flip side, John Parker Wilson is probably one of the best game managers in the game. He realizes his many limitations and doesn’t let them hurt his team. Alabama may have some trouble with running lanes and protection with their All-American left tackle suspended for the game. However, I just can’t see Alabama losing this game.


3) The Rose Bowl – No. 5 USC vs. No. 8 Penn State – 1/1 at 4:30 on ABC

While Penn State and USC may feel slighted by not even entering into the National Championship talk; this is the perfect place for them.

If you look at this game rationally, Penn State really doesn’t stand much of a chance. Before all you Penn State fans jump all over me, when have I ever been one for rationality?

This game comes down to Penn State’s offense. USC is going to score, that’s a no brainer. Penn State’s defense will be able to contain them to a certain extent, that’s a no brainer too.

The main question is if Penn State’s sometimes pitiful offense can move the ball at all against what some experts are calling one of the best defenses of all time. Penn State needs to capitalize on turnovers and field position to make any sort of run at USC. They need to slow down the tempo and knock USC in the mouth. That being said, USC will win without much trouble.


4) The Tostitos Fiesta Bowl – No. 10 Ohio State vs. No.3 Texas – 1/5 at 8:00 on FOX

Do you really want to be Ohio State in this one against a slighted and pissed Texas squad? Me neither.

Let’s break this down all scientific like. The defensive weakness of Texas is pass defense. The offensive weakness of OSU is the pass. You see where I’m going with this one?

If Texas can control Beanie Wells and put the game in Pryor’s hands, they are in a very good position. Let’s not even get into the throwing and running ability of Colt McCoy. If OSU keeps this competitive past the 1st quarter, I’ll be shocked.


5) The FedEx Orange Bowl – No. 12 Cincinnati vs. No. 19 Virginia Tech – 1/1 at 8:30 on FOX

Welcome to the BCS Bowl that no one really cares about, unless you’re one of the water carriers for the ACC or Big East (and you know who you are). Since I write for everyone, so let me give this a go.

This is sort of like a poor man’s Rose Bowl, with the Cincy offense that can light it up, and the VT defense that pretty much carried them here. VT needs to be able to click offensively in order to win, which means limiting Tyrod Taylor’s mistakes, which is easier said than done.

Listen, VT is one shocking team, and if they won, I wouldn’t be surprised. However, all Cincy needs to do to win is do what they’ve done all year long. Put points on the board and limit the opponent’s offense. Therefore, I think Cincy wins it.


6) The Cotton Bowl – No. 25 Mississippi vs. No. 7 Texas Tech – 1/2 at 2:00 on FOX

I almost put this ahead of the Orange Bowl, just to be funny. And before any wise guy says anything, I know the Cotton Bowl isn’t a BCS game, but it’s close enough.

A little disclaimer here, I have been a Texas Tech apple polisher all year long, so don’t expect it to stop here. However, Texas Tech fans have to be a little scared of Ole Miss.

For one, they are the only team to beat Florida and they did it in the Swamp. As for another, they have a great defense. Remember what happened last time Harrell and Co. faced a great defense?

Ole Miss also has a balanced offense led by one-time Colt McCoy back-up Jevan Snead. Oklahoma wrote the book on how to beat Texas Tech. You pressure Harrell, early and often and never let up, and you play smart offensively.

There are only about 5 or so teams that can beat Texas Tech. Unfortunately, Ole Miss is built to be one of those teams. However, unlike Oklahoma, they aren’t built to do it consistently. I think Texas Tech ekes this one out.


Extra Point:

7) You know, I could sit here and rant and rave about how Ohio State doesn’t deserve a BCS Bowl bid or that the BCS rankings screwed Texas. I could go on about how they need to repeal the rule that only two conference teams can make BCS Bowls (in light of there being 5 bowls) or that there is more drama in the Outback Bowl than the Orange Bowl. I could also point out that Colt McCoy was my pick for the Heisman.

I’m not going to do any of that. I’m going to stay positive and wish everyone a Happy New Year. Enjoy the bowls and I’ll see you for next year’s installment of the Touchdown.

Trent's Touchdown - Non-BCS Bowls

Here we are at the most wonderful time of the year. No, not Christmas. I’m talking about Bowl Week. Well, it’s longer than a week, but you get the picture.

It couldn’t have happened at a better time, since you can only talk about the same match-ups so many times before it gets completely repetitive and boring. Hopefully my article won’t be the one that pushes it over the edge.

Before we get to the match-ups, this will be for the non-BCS bowls. The breakdown for the BCS Bowls will come later and will include the Cotton Bowl, because it’s the closest thing we have to a BCS Bowl that isn’t.

1) The Pacific Life Holiday Bowl – No. 13 Oklahoma State vs. No. 17 Oregon – 12/30 at 8:00 on ESPN

Oklahoma State is just one of the few teams I completely fell in love with this year, so don’t expect any unbiased assessment right now.

Both teams boost explosive running games, but you have to expect OSU to air it out, since the Oregon pass defensive is woeful. When you have Zac Robinson and Des Bryant, you can afford to air it out.

On the Oregon side, Jeremiah Masoli is no slouch, as he’s proven lately. Being serious though, Oregon is going to need to play flawlessly, as OSU can pick apart teams that give them an opening. I just don’t Oregon doing that.


2) The Capital One Bowl – No. 15 Georgia vs. No. 18 Michigan State – 1/01 at 1:00 on ABC

This has all the makings of an old fashioned slugfest. Both teams are very good on the ground and are more than willing to pound the ball for yards. Unfortunately, both teams are from conferences where you need to stop the run to win.

Georgia has the added benefit of Matthew Stafford, but he is much better when he limits his mistakes and gets yards from Knowshon Moreno. On the flip side, you have Brian Hoyer, who might be able to lead his team to victory against the dregs of the Big 10, but this is Georgia.

If the MSU defense needs to stop Moreno and put the game in the hands of Stafford. Obviously, it’s not the best course of action, but it’s really the only chance they have at winning.


3) The Poinsettia Bowl – No. 9 Boise State vs. No. 11 TCU – 12/23 at 8:00 on ESPN

Raise your hands if this game seems more appealing than the Orange Bowl. I see a lot of hands raised.

Boise State comes in doing what they always do; they light up the scoreboard, with the 13th ranked offense in the country. Yet, they get to face off against the 2nd best defense in the country.

TCU is no joke here; they held Utah and BYU to a combined 20 points. They have proven they can hold off the best teams in non-BCS conferences. It really comes down to TCU trying to control the tempo and not having to come from too far behind at any point in the game. With that said, I think Boise State rips them up.


4) The Chick-Fil-A Bowl – LSU vs. No. 14 Georgia Tech – 12/31 at 7:30 on ESPN

If you look at LSU, I mean really look at them, does the five losses and being unranked really surprise anyone? Seriously, you can’t compete in the SEC when you’re shaky at the QB position and if you look up “shaky” in dictionary, you see Jarrett Lee.

Anyway, I know this is getting repetitive, but both teams boast a strong running game. And if it was just an ordinary running game, I would laugh and give the game to LSU, despite Lee.

However, any GT fan will tell you that the Yellow Jackets are anything but ordinary. They sport the triple option, which a strong option QB and one of the best running backs in the league. Georgia Tech walks with this one.


5) The Valero Alamo Bowl – No. 21 Missouri vs. No. 23 Northwestern – 12/29 at 8:00 on ESPN

Northwestern really just came out of no where, didn’t they? Missouri, on the other hand, really spiraled out of control.

I’m going to pull a Lee Corso here and give a “not so fast my friend” to all the people who think Missouri walks in this one. Yes, Chase Daniel is an extremely good QB, but he gets rattled by good defenses. The Northwestern defense is the number 1 reason why they are where they are.

They will pressure Daniel and force him to make mistakes. If Northwestern can get good field position, they should be able to put points on the board. I think Chase Daniel ends his college career on a low point.


6) The Sheraton Hawaii Bowl – Hawaii vs. Notre Dame – 12/24 at 8:00 on ESPN

I don’t know what I find funnier, that Notre Dame actually made a Bowl or that they will probably lose.


Extra Point:

7) Okay, I’ve ranted and raved about many things this season. I even made a cogent point every once in a while. However, in light of the Christmas season and the upcoming debacle that will be the BCS Bowls, I’m going to go positive.

This season has been just plain fun. Take off your partisan hats and take a look at the college football season as a whole. While complete parity is not upon us (and I don’t want that), every team is becoming more competitive, which leads to a better product week in and week out.

Look at Texas Tech as a prime example. For those couple of weeks (between the Kansas game until the Oklahoma game), they were an amazing fun team to watch. And it wasn’t just because of the explosive offense or the insane fans, but because they weren’t Oklahoma, or Florida, or Texas, or any other team we expect to compete year in and year out.

So, I want to give a “thank you” to the Red Raiders this year, and Kansas and Missouri last year, and whatever team comes out of the woodwork next year. Thank you for making college football enjoyable and, even for a moment, giving fans of teams that aren’t always the best (like me with Clemson) a little bit of hope for next year.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 15

There are a few things you can always count on. You can count on weird, twisting mythology in any Stargate show. You can count on overt misogyny in Robert Ludlum books. And you can count on the BCS screwing up at least one thing per season. At least this year they didn’t wait until the announcement of the Bowls to do it. But more on this later.

We have Championship weekend ahead of us. Can you believe we are at the end of the season already? Neither can I. Anyway, on to the Touchdown:

1) SEC Championship Game – No. 1 Alabama vs. No. 4 Florida – 4:00 on CBS in Atlanta

I think we can safely assume that the winner of this goes to the National Championship Game. People want to see this as the Alabama defense against the Florida offense and I have to agree. It all starts with trying to contain Florida. If you can do that, then you have a chance.

One great way to contain them is to keep them off the field. Alabama needs to methodically move the ball down the field, using their great running game to eat up yards and clock.

No one can afford to get into a shoot-out with Florida, they are just too good, as witnessed by the stream-rolling they have been doing since the one point loss to Ole Miss. I just don’t think Alabama can do it, but people have been underestimating them all year, what’s one more game?


2) Big 12 Championship Game – No. 2 Oklahoma vs. No. 20 Missouri – 8:00 on ABC in Kansas City

Why does this look familiar? Oh yeah, it’s a rematch of last year’s Big 12 Championship Game. So, Oklahoma jumped ahead of a team they lost to earlier in the season to get here, while Missouri limped in after losing to Kansas.

Like Florida, Oklahoma has just been a buzz-saw recently, easily beating down all comers. Missouri basically needs to play above their limit and Chase Daniel needs to strong. These are two things I don’t see happening. I think it’s a moral victory if Missouri only loses by 3 touchdowns.


3) ACC Championship Game – No. 17 Boston College vs. No. 25 Virginia Tech – 1:00 on ABC in Tampa

Like the Big 12 Championship Game, this is a repeat of last years game. Unlike last year, I’ll be watching this one for the comedy factor.

You have two good defenses and two shaky quarterbacks, so it should be fun. I really don’t see either team winning this one based on offensive ability, but on how the defense reacts.

Virginia Tech as a more experience quarterback and a knack for making big plays in key situations, so I think VT wins this one, but it’s close.


4) No. 5 USC at UCLA – 4:30 on ABC

USC has been pretty dominant since the early season loss to Oregon State. The hallmark of the team has really been the defense. They seem to get better with every game and take the pressure off Mark Sanchez so he can just play.

UCLA, on the other hand, is offensively shaky (and that’s putting it mildly), considering their offense gave up 28 points to Arizona State last week (4 defensive touchdowns!). UCLA has a solid defense, so they might be able to hang with USC for a little bit, but USC should run away with it.


5) No. 13 Cincinnati at Hawaii – 11:30 on ESPN

First you win the Big East, and then get a trip to Hawaii. It’s party time. Actually, this is pretty much a tune-up for Cincy before they face the ACC champion in the Orange Bowl (most likely). Cincy needs to watch themselves, since Hawaii is playing for nothing but pride. BC or VT fans should tune in to see their probable BCS foe.


6) Navy vs. Army – 12:00 on CBS

You know, during the Presidential election, I was wondering if McCain became President, would he still be able to root for Navy? Just one of those questions we’ll never have an answer too.


Extra Point:

7) Before I start, I want to assure Oklahoma fans that if Texas has come out on top, this rant would have been directed at them…maybe. Anyway, Texas got screwed. Plain and simple.

I still don’t understand how the BCS jumped Oklahoma ahead of Texas. Let’s break this down. Texas loses to Texas Tech on the road, beats Oklahoma on a neutral field, and Oklahoma beats Texas Tech at home. Just by looking at that, who is the better team between Texas and Oklahoma? Alright, now we’re getting somewhere.

Before all you Sooner fans fall back on point differential, just remember that that has nothing to do with the discussion, since it’s not a factor in determining the Champion. These needs to be fixed one of two ways.

One, have the BCS give us the top 2 then take the head to head winner (in this case, Texas). Two, go to point differential against common opponents before BCS standings (in this case, Oklahoma).

Both have issues. The BCS option can freeze out the number 3 team and still leaves the decision in the hands of coach’s and computers. The point differential option promotes running up the score. Something needs to be done and this week proves that the current system is flawed.

One more thing before I go Oklahoma fans. If your team hand beaten Texas on the neutral field and lost to Texas Tech on the road while Texas had run up the score on Tech at home, would you be saying “Gee, Texas deserves it.” I didn’t think so.

Emmet Otter, Nicole de Boer, and Other Thoughts

And now, a brief respite from all the sports related posts recently.

With Christmas approaching, we are going to start seeing a lot of Christmas movies on TV. By movies, I mean 2 hour long crap-fests that are suppose to make my heart fill with Christmas cheer, yet leave me wondering how many C-list celebrities they can dig up to fill some of these roles. There are only 3 Christmas movies worth watching. They are A Christmas Story, Scrooged, and Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas. End of story.

Did anyone else notice this story? You can actually purchase a casket with the Red Sox logo on it. No, this isn’t a joke. Why not bury someone in a pink hat while you’re at it? The only upside to it was the Duchess and I had competing jokes last night. After hearing that a family had purchased one for their terminally ill father by saying “it’s what he would have wanted” I countered with “I think he would have wanted to live more.” The Duchess decided to inquire if the Red Sox would be putting their logo on tampons and douche in the future. Too many low-brow jokes followed after that one.

As much of a steaming pile of crap Stargate Atlantis normally is, there will be one thing I will miss when it’s gone. It’s the guest stars. A few episodes ago, I was treated to a two-part episode with the incomparable Michael Shanks, who reprised his role of Dr. Daniel Jackson. Any time Shanks gets to do Daniel Jackson like things, it’s fun for the whole family. A few episodes prior to that, we got a guest appearance from the one and only Nicole de Boer. All you Trek and Dead Zone fans are nodding your head right now.

Speaking of Stargate Atlantis, once this and Battlestar Galactica are no longer on the air after this season (one voluntarily, one not so much), the Sci-Fi community needs a standard bearer TV show. As a voting member of this community, I want my say. While my vote will probably go to Doctor Who, I want to throw Sanctuary onto the ballot. It’s fun, inventive, and doesn’t drown itself in mythology….too much. Isn’t that what sci-fi should be about? Oh and before you mention it, Lost is not a sci-fi show; it’s an action/adventure show. I don’t get Life on Mars as sci-fi, you don’t get Lost.

If you’ve watched TV or listened to the radio in the last month, you probably know that the movie Hancock is out on DVD and available for you to buy. Hey, we didn’t spend money to buy tickets to this toxic waste pile, why would I buy it and sully my DVD collection? That’s neither here nor there. In the ads, and I mean all of them, they ruin the big reveal of the movie. I’m not going to spoil it, but that was the whole twist of the movie. Whoever put together the ads must have worked for FOX, because these are almost as bad to when they were giving away 24 storylines in the “next time on 24” ads.

I would like to thank IMDB for all the links in this post. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, I thank you and ask you to please not sue me.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 14

Welcome to the Thanksgiving addition of the Touchdown. I’m telling you, when I get older, I’m going to have to stop watching college football, because it’ll give me a heart attack. We are at yet another important juncture of the season where a handful of teams all have a shot at the National Championship Game. What better way to sort it all out during Rivalry Week.


1) No. 3 Oklahoma at No. 12 Oklahoma State – 8:00 on ABC

Bedlam baby! Yet another Big 12 South prime-time showdown. I don’t know what is more impressive, the fact that the Big 12 has been so fun to watch this year or the fact that the number 12 team in the country is 4th in their division.

Even if Oklahoma wins, they still aren’t guaranteed the trip to the Big 12 Championship Game (Bedlam indeed). While I’m far from buying into Oklahoma, they are the quintessential Big 12 team that will get blown out by a SEC team in the National Championship Game. They have enough defensive talent to disrupt a good offense and enough offensive firepower to give a good defense fits.

While I want Oklahoma State to win, I don’t think they will. Zac Robinson is not as good as Graham Harrell and Dez Bryant is not as good as Michael Crabtree. One more prediction here, the BCS decides the Big 12 South Champion.


2) No. 23 Oregon at No. 17 Oregon State – 7:00 on VS.

Civil War baby! If you told me at the beginning of the year that this game could produce the Pac 10 Champion, I would have said, “wow, Oregon finally got it together.” Instead, it’s the Beavers with the shot at the Rose Bowl.

However, there is a bit of a problem since their star running back is out with a shoulder sprain. You can expect Oregon State to throw more, since Oregon has a horrid pass defense. Oregon will likely run the ball, but aren’t scared to throw it with Jeremiah Masoli getting better. I still think Oregon State will win this one, even with a back-up running back.


3) No. 4 Florida at No. 22 Florida State – 3:30 on ABC

There are too many jokes I can make about the FSU legal problems, but I’m going to try and limit it to one. With the FSU roster starting to look like they are trying out for Law & Order, you have to think Florida will run away with this.

Florida needs to be focused, since they need to win to stay in the National Championship hunt. As much as I love FSU’s youthful enthusiasm, I really don’t think they can stay on the field with Florida.

The Florida defense is too fast to be beaten by the run and the offense is too explosive to be kept in check for long. Florida just has too many weapons, which is usually how FSU’s legal problems start (oops, two jokes, sorry).


4) No. 22 Georgia Tech at No. 11 Georgia – 12:00 on CBS

Minus the random delusional or pessimistic fan, who would have thought either team would have the rankings they have right now?

Georgia is going to have to limit the run as much as possible, because there is no way they are stopping GT from getting yards on the ground. They need to try and force GT to throw the ball, which not only limits their effectiveness, but also provides a comedy factor for the viewing audience.

Georgia has a more balanced offensive attack, so GT will need to be consistent and play solid situational defense. Thankfully, for Georgia, they’ve had 2 weeks to prepare for the first option offense they’ve seen all year, and it’ll help. They should win this one.


5) Kansas vs. No. 13 Missouri – 12:30 on FOX Sports in Kansas City

Border War baby! This contest is really at battle between Todd Reesing and Chase Daniel. The better QB today wins. Both Missouri and Kansas have really poor pass defenses, so expect an aerial show.

Missouri just has too much talent and Kansas has been too inconsistent, especially against talented teams. This won’t be as close as last year’s game (which was closer than the score reflected).

6) Notre Dame at No. 5 USC – 8:00 on ABC

If you lose to Syracuse at home, you should be permanently banned from the Touchdown, except for comedic purposes. And just so you know, I’m laughing right now.


Extra Point:

7) We all know what Thanksgiving mean, gorging yourself on Turkey and falling asleep on the couch while watching football. This year that football game will be the Texas/Texas A&M game (at least in my house).

Which leads me to wonder about Thanksgiving for these kids. I mean, they can’t have a big Turkey dinner before the game. You can’t have Colt McCoy falling asleep in the huddle. But you can’t have it after the game, since it’ll be way too late. Do they have to wait until the weekend? Do they even get a Thanksgiving dinner? Am I thinking about this too much?

Obviously, I can answer the last question, and the answer is yes. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Now stop reading and start picking at the leftovers.

Matt Cassel: The New Goldenboy?

You ever hear the phrase that the favorite player on a football team is the backup Quarterback? Well, welcome to New England, where Matt Cassel is the new golden boy.

Now, the Patriot fans fall into two distinct categories. One, those who think Cassel is Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, and Tom Brady all rolled into one. He is the next great Quarterbacking legend and can do no wrong. Now that he has his shot at the limelight, he will shine brighter than all and lead the Patriots to the Super Bowl. Some obsessed fan boy who can see know wrong no matter how glaring it is, you know, like your average critic when writing about Grey’s Anatomy.

Two, those who want to rip him to shreds. Those who think that he is horrible, and will point to an innocuous 2nd and 8 pass that he overthrew Wes Welker on as proof that he is no better than your average Pop Warner Quarterback. That he is all that is wrong with Patriots football and once he is put out of his misery, we will all be better for it.

Think I’m joking? I walked into work on Monday to an argument from the two Presidents of these fan groups. It was an amusing argument, only for the fact that I wanted to jump in and slap them both silly. Here’s why.

I belong to a very small third fan base. I am willing to sit back, enjoy the games, praise Cassel and the Pats where deserved, but can also be critical without sounding like a pessimistic, brain-dead sports fan. But for some reason, people want to jump to one extreme or the other. How about we see how this all plays out?

Now, I have thought that the past two games were a definite improvement for Cassel and the offense (even if they lost to the Jets). He still can’t hit the deep ball, has trouble checking down, and can’t seem to utilize Randy Moss as much as he should. However, the problem isn’t with the offense, but the defense. Yet no one seems to want to talk about it.

Listen, when all is said and done, Matt Cassel won’t be the reason if they don’t make it to the playoffs or win the Super Bowl. Truthfully, he is an average to good Quarterback who has been steady improving over the course of the season. He may develop the ability to throw the team on his back and carry them to the playoffs and behind. Average Quarterbacks can lead their teams to the Super Bowl, but they usually have a good defense helping them out. Too bad Cassel is missing that.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 13

Riddle me this. Did the average fan actually watch a lot of college football last weekend? I swear, I watched like 15 total minutes last week. We’re back to normal this week with another “Biggest Game of the Year” and many key conference match-ups that will decide BCS bowl invitations. Anyway, on to the Touchdown:

1) No. 2 Texas Tech at No. 5 Oklahoma – 8:00 on ABC

Just when I was starting to go through Big 12 withdrawal, this game luckily popped up. Let’s look at what we know. Texas Tech is hotter than the sun, yet all their big wins came at home. Oklahoma has been blowing the doors off everyone, but proved against Texas that they can’t win a shootout against a semi-competent defense. Graham Harrell is the best QB in the nation, but it goes beyond stats. He understands the importance of moving in the pocket and seems to have a psychic link with his receivers. I think it stays close for the first half, before Texas Tech just rolls.


2) No. 15 Michigan State at No. 8 Penn State – 3:30 on ABC

As with most years, I jumped on a bandwagon too early, only to have it go hurtling off the road. Thanks Penn State. The reason Penn State was winning was not only because the Big 10 was a joke this year, but they played really good defense and combined it with competent offense. Unfortunately, that competent offense has been failing them of late. Michigan State will try and run the ball with Javon Ringer, but it’s tough to do against the Penn State defense. I think Penn State wins it if they can get back to the formula that was working for them earlier.


3) No. 20 Pittsburgh at No. 19 Cincinnati – 7:15 on ESPN2

I think this is the first Big East game to make the Touchdown all year. This is pretty much the story of two opposing offensive styles. Cincy likes to go to the air, yet they may have a problem since their quarterbacking crew looks like they stepped out of an episode of ER. Pitt likes to rush the ball, but the Cincy defense is very good against the run. Cincy wins and they are pretty much going to BCS bowl. Pitt wins and they still need to face West Virginia to win the Big East. I think Cincy takes it and punches their own ticket.


4) No. 14 BYU at No. 7 Utah – 6:00 on The Mtn.

I don’t know about you, but I like the idea of schools from non-BCS conferences making a run at a BCS bowl. Now, I’m not going to claim to be some expert on the Mountain West, but I know a few things. I know that Utah can score in droves, but BYU has the better offense. However, Utah has the better defense of the two. The Utah defense is going to have to do what its done lately, which is completely shut down opponents. BYU has the QB-WR tandem that is sort of like Harrell/Crabtree light in Max Hall and Austin Collie. I think BYU can pull this one out.


5) No. 21 Oregon State at Arizona – 7:00 on local channels

Who would have thought that Oregon State would control their own destiny in the Pac-10? I want to make the old “it’s better to be lucky than good” line for the Beavers, but I won’t. After their loss to Stanford in the conference opener (Stanford!), they have run rough-shot over the Pac-10. They have one of the best young running backs in the country and a QB who won’t hurt you. Plus, they have a solid defense. While Arizona is actually a tougher team than their record suggests, I don’t think the Beavers let down this week.


6) Michigan at No. 10 Ohio State – 12:00 on ABC

Wasn’t it two years ago that this game decided who would get beaten by Florida in the National Championship Game? What the hell happened to Michigan? Anyone?


Extra Point:

7) As I mentioned earlier, the Touchdown has been sufficiently Big East free all season. There is a good reason for this. The Big East makes the ACC look like the Big 12 South, yet the Big East champion (who may well be unranked) will get an automatic BCS bowl invitation.

A more deserving conference would be the Mountain West, with Utah, BYU, and TCU all in the top 20. Now, far be it from me to strip the Big East of their bowl game. Not so long ago, there were some top flight teams (last year West Virginia was a victory away from the National Championship Game).

There is a dip in talent this year and the average fan is paying the price. Not only that, deserving teams are getting left out of the mix. How about a little play-in game? The champion of the Big East and Mountain West square off in a winner take all match. No doubt the Mountain West wins. No doubt.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 12

What a horrible week for college football this week. We get treated week in and week out with Big 12 shoot-outs in prime time and this week, yet this week we get nothing. I guess we can all look forward to the big Texas Tech/Oklahoma tussle next week. Until then, here is this week’s Touchdown:

1) No. 25 South Carolina at No. 4 Florida – 3:30 on CBS

We already know that Florida will play in the SEC Championship Game, but in order to keep hope alive for the National Championship, they need to win out. Florida has been doing everything right since its one point loss to Ole Miss. While nothing is a sure thing in the SEC, Florida knows what it has to do and should throttle South Carolina. Florida just seems like they are a few steps ahead of everyone else right now.


2) Boston College at No. 19 Florida State – 8:00 on ABC

Sooner or later, I’m going to get to stop hyping this FSU team. While young and dumb (at times), they are very talented. There shaky QB situation early in the year was helped by their strong running game. However, stopping the run is one of the few things BC does well. One of the things BC does poorly is passing the ball. I wouldn’t trust Chris Crane to successful tie his shoes, let alone complete a pass. FSU should win this easily.


3) No. 11 Ohio State at Illinois – 12:00 on ESPN

Ohio State is like a bad penny, they keep turning up. As hope was beginning to fade for OSU, Penn State goes and loses to Iowa, giving OSU new life. They still have tough games against Illinois and Michigan though. I don’t trust Illinois at all; they have been all over the place this season. Seriously, Juice Williams can only do so much. I think Ohio State wins.


4) No. 13 Oklahoma State at Colorado – 8:00 on ABC

While Oklahoma State was rebuffed with extreme prejudice by Texas Tech, I still think they are a very good team with major bowl chances. Oklahoma State can neither overlook Colorado nor wallow in the fact they won’t win the Big 12. Not to downgrade what Texas Tech did, but Oklahoma squandered chances on both sides of the ball that would have kept the game close. They need to take advantage of these chances against Colorado if they even want a chance of beating Oklahoma.


5) No. 10 Georgia at Auburn – 12:30 on ESPN Gameplan

Tell me I’m not the only one who is a little skittish about Georgia. Something about them doesn’t inspire confidence. The numbers are all there, but I just can’t put my finger on it. Auburn on the other hand looks completely overmatched in most every game they are in. There QB play is horrible. Let’s put it this way, I would trust Chris Crane over whatever joker they decide to put in there. Georgia should roll (of course, they should have rolled against Kentucky too).

6) No. 6 USC at Stanford – 7:00 on local channels

Do you think Pete Carroll is going to have any trouble getting his team ready for this game? I would just show them last year’s game over and over again.


Extra Point:

7) You know, normally, near the end of the season you get all the classic showdowns that make college football worth watching. It’s sort of our reward for making it though the first couple of weeks without bleeding out of our eyes.

The last couple of weeks have been fantastic, especially with all the struggles in the Big 12 South. I just want to know how this week popped up. I was really grasping at straws after game 1.

I do have to say, if you want to spend some quality time with your significant other or do some early Christmas shopping, this weekend is the week. I mean, there is no way I’m going to be able to convince the Duchess that I need to see the Ohio State/Illinois game, so I’ve resigned myself to a weekend of shopping and bag carrying. Damn you schedulers!!!!!

Cedric Diggory, Foliage, and Other Thoughts

Enough of the fun and melodrama that is college football. Let’s get to some random thoughts for my non-sports related readers.

If you’ve watched TV, picked up a magazine, or have not slipped into a coma over the last 6 weeks, you’ve heard of that Twilight movie that’s coming out soon. I do have one question about it, and not being a mindless teen girl, I can’t answer it. Isn’t this already out in the form of that HBO show True Blood?

Speaking of Twilight, during one of the hundreds of commercials for it, I took a look at the lead actor and thought “he looks like the dude who played Cedric Diggory in Goblet of Fire, only strung out”. I mentioned this to the Duchess and she whole-heartedly agreed (about the Diggory part, not the strung out part). After checking IMDB, it turned out I was right (about the Diggory part, the jury is still out on the strung out part). To paraphrase a bunch of Harry Potter characters, “bloody pretty boy”.

Speaking of vampires, I haven’t watched True Blood, for one major reason. I can’t watch another vampire show where they change the rules up again. When I say rules, I mean the rules about vampires. I have to figure out if a stake to the heart will actually kill them or just paralyze them. I have to figure out if sunlight will just hurt them or make them burst into flames. It gets confusing after a while, and I don’t need that. I think we need hard and fast rules when it comes to vampires, so we all are on the same page.

Speaking of hell-spawn, I hate the local commuter rail. I don’t even think hate is a strong enough word. Last week, there was a delay on my ride home due to “Foliage”. No, I’m not joking, they actually said this over a loud speaker. Leaves delayed my ride home. You know, if there is a delay due to leaves, just lie to me and say a mechanical error. I’d still be pissed, but I would respect it more than freaking leaves!!!

Speaking of delays, my ride home last Friday was delayed even more because some mouth-breather decided to jump in of a speeding train to end his pathetic life. Listen, you want to end your life, be my guest. It’s one less person I have to worry about pissing me off due to object stupidity, but don’t fuck with my commute. It’s Friday, I just want to get home. With your one last act, you’ve managed to enrage a bunch of people who never knew you. Congrats on being a dumb-ass.

Speaking of dumb-asses, the last Trent’s Touchdown I mentioned that UNC would beat Georgia Tech. This drew the ire of some Georgia Tech fans, who proceeded to tell me that I know nothing about college football and that Georgia Tech is for real. Yeah, GT got hammered 28-7. I’m debating whether or not I’m a big enough man not to laugh.

Speaking of drawing ire, since the Duchess and I are married, we are talking about getting a family plan for cell phones. I was all for it, but I did have one thing I wanted. I wanted to get phones where we could both have personalized ringtone for each other. Her ringtone would have been “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry and my ringtone would have been “Pimpin Ain’t Easy” by Big Daddy Kane. She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night.

One last thing, I’m not a big enough man. HA HA HA HA HA.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 11

College Football is at its best when big shake-ups happen. It makes for entertaining viewing and makes you wonder things like “should there be a playoff?” and “how many replays of Michael Crabtree’s catch and score will it take before Mack Brown’s head explodes?”

I’m on cloud nine now, because since Texas Tech would beat Texas, all my other idiotic predictions have seemed to have slipped my mind. But, as the great Sidney Dean said “Even the sun shines on a dog’s ass every once in a while”. Anyway, on with the Touchdown:

1) No. 9 Oklahoma State at No. 2 Texas Tech – 8:00 on ABC

I never thought I would say this, but the Big 12 is fun to watch. Yet another huge match-up that has National Championship implications. Oklahoma State decided to take out there frustrations of there loss to Texas by lighting up Iowa State like a Christmas tree.

Both teams have amazing QB’s and WR’s, but the edge has to go to Texas Tech. This might be another “whoever has the ball last wins” games. Those are always fun. Texas Tech takes it, but it’s close.


2) No. 1 Alabama at No. 16 LSU – 3:30 on CBS

This game will be won and lost by the LSU defense. Let’s just get it out in the open and recognize the pink elephant in the room, the LSU offense is horrible. Alabama will be able to stop the run game, thereby putting the offense attack in the hands of whoever the heck LSU decides to play at QB.

The LSU defense needs to control this game, shut down John Parker Wilson, and cause turnovers. Plus, they have the home crowd to help them out. However, Alabama should win this one.


3) No. 21 California at No. 7 USC – 8:00 on ABC

USC reminds me a lot of Florida, in that they both dropped a conference game they should have easily won, then decided “screw you all” and started dropping the hammer on everyone (minus that hiccup against Arizona). The USC defense will harass the big question mark at QB for Cal. I personally think Longshore should get the start, since he gives Cal the best shot to win. It isn’t much of a shot, but a shot none the less.


4) No. 20 Georgia Tech at No. 19 North Carolina – 12:00 on ESPN Gameplan

If you told me at the beginning of the season that both these teams would be ranked when they faced each other, well, I would have said some unkind things about your mental stability. UNC is the perfect example of what happens when you get a quality coach and give him a few years with no expectations. I think UNC is for real, unlike Georgia Tech, who I just don’t get. Watch it for the thrill of seeing a good team you didn’t know existed.


5) No. 3 Penn State at Iowa – 3:30 on ABC

You almost have to feel sorry for Iowa on this one. Penn State gets passed over by Texas Tech for the number 2 spot in the BCS poll. Not that I disagree, but still. Penn State is going to go out with something to prove, and Iowa is going to be there whipping boy. You want to see why Penn State should be feared? Watch this game.


6) No. 12 TCU at No. 8 Utah – 8:00 on CBS College Sports on 11/6

They should just rename this game the BCS Busters Bowl. The winner of this gets a quality win and gives them a giant leap forward in the BCS bowl picture. Basically, watch this one if you want to see what all the hype is about.


Extra Point:

7) What a difference a few weeks makes. Remember a few weeks ago when I was railing against the SEC as a whole? Well, I’m only partially taking it back. Why? In a word, Florida.

This team is on a mission to destroy every team in its path since that loss to Ole Miss. This is a case where a loss was a good thing. If all plays out like it should, Florida will absolutely demolish Alabama in the SEC Championship Game and should claim its rightful spot in the BCS Championship Game.

My one complaint about them was that they don’t play as good as they are. They’ve got over that problem. So, I can now say that “yes, Florida is good and deserves it shot.” Of course, my endorsement should worry Florida fans more than anything.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 10

Oh man, we go all season with a few really good games, then get knocked up last week with the OSU/PSU and Texas/Oklahoma State games. Seriously, right now, both would be in my top 10 games of the year.

I do have to say that you have to be a real fan to appreciate the defensive effort by both OSU and PSU (or completely disgusted by the offensive effort). I think I’m starting to buy into PSU, which means one thing. PSU will lose.

Anyway, on to the Touchdown.

1) No. 1 Texas at No. 7 Texas Tech – 8:00 on ABC

Last week made me realize that you can only beat Texas by either having a reasonably competent defense or being able to outscore them in a shoot-out. This might be a case of the latter. Texas Tech will be the toughest test Texas has had to face. No offense to Chase Daniel, Sam Bradford, or Zac Robinson, but no QB that has faced Texas has been able to completely capitalize on the weak secondary of Texas. Graham Harrell however is a much better and more competent QB. Detron Lewis and Michael Crabtree are the best WR combo in the nation (yeah, I said it!). I’m calling it now; Texas Tech upsets the No. 1 Texas.

2) No. 8 Florida vs. No. 6 Georgia – 3:30 on CBS in Jacksonville

Anytime something is nicknamed “The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party”, you have to put it near the top. To be fair, the winner most likely wins the SEC East and keeps its National Championship hopes alive. Florida is one of the best teams in the nation, yet doesn’t seem to want to grab that mantle. No team should come close to them, yet that Ole Miss game mystifies me. I think it was good for them since it was a wake up call. With everyone’s friend revenge on their side, Florida will utterly destroy Georgia.

3) No. 15 Florida State at Georgia Tech – 3:30 on ABC

I never would have thought I would have put this game at number 3. It either means that there is a lack of good games or FSU is better than expected (a little from column A, a little from column B). I’m still not sure how they did it, but FSU seems to have keyed into one of the more magically things in college football, youthful enthusiasm. I love it, even though I don’t like FSU. This is a game worth watching because you’ll finally see why FSU is for real and why Georgia Tech is wildly worse than there record suggests.

4) Nebraska at No. 4 Oklahoma – 8:00 on ESPN

Remember when this was a great and storied rivalry? Now, before everyone writes this one off, remember that Oklahoma is vulnerable if you have a competent defense or a high-powered offense. The defense may be suspect, but Nebraska can score. I’m not saying Nebraska will win, but I am saying they can make it interesting.

5) No. 24 Oregon at California – 3:30 on ABC

You know, I always liked the Pac-10, and this one is definitely for the fans. Basically, they are battling to see which team might have a chance to upend USC for the Pac-10 championship. Cal is going to need another strong performance from their defense if they hope to stop the running attack of Oregon and the smart QB play of Jeremiah Masoli. Basically, I think Cal should start Nate Longshore and let fly, but that won’t happen, and they’ll lose.

6) Clemson at Boston College – 3:30 on ESPNU

Now, most of you are probably thinking I put this up here because I’m an incurable Clemson fan and am hoping that this year will finally be the year Clemson beats BC (you know, when it means nothing). You would be wrong. It’s hear because the Duchess scored tickets to the game and I’ll be there rooting for my team live and in person. Here’s hoping I come back alive.

Extra Point:

7) Figuring out who would be my choice in the NCG is tough. Usually, I can pick a few teams I could see in it. However, I can’t really buy into a lot of teams. Too many are flawed in too many ways. We can attribute that to parity or we can attribute it to poor recruiting. OSU is a perfect example. All they really need is an offensive leader at QB, and they don’t have it. So, I sit here and try and come up with teams that I see as National Champions and its tough. There are now teams like USC with Leinhart and Bush. The only teams I can seriously consider are Penn State, who’s only real competition was Ohio State, and Texas Tech, who hasn’t faced anyone and my very will buckle against Texas, Oklahoma State, or Oklahoma. But if I’ve proven anything, it’s that I know very little if anything.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 9

As I stated in my blog a few weeks ago, the Touchdown (and other articles) was put on hiatus due to Wedding/Honeymoon issues, as in I was both getting married and going on my Honeymoon. However, I am now back and will subject you to more insane yet slightly insightful college football ramblings.

On a side note, anyone who can guess the unnamed Caribbean island mentioned in my Honeymoon blog entry will get to pick the subject of next weeks Extra Point. Happy guessing. Anyway, on to the Touchdown.


1) No. 3 Penn State at No. 9 Ohio State – 8:00 on ABC

This one will pretty much decide the Big Ten champion and it’s two top 10 teams, so it’s got to be number 1. Laugh if you want, but the key to this game is Penn State’s defense. There focus needs to be stopping Beanie Wells. Penn State has an issue stopping the run. OSU needs to slow the game down and let Wells carry the load and pound Penn State. They can’t hope to beat Penn State in a shootout, so they need to control the tempo, slow the game down, and drive it down the throats of the defense. That being said, PSU will win by doing what they always do, overwhelming their opponent.


2) No. 6 Oklahoma State at No. 1 Texas – 3:30 on ABC

Texas just keeps getting the tough opponents. Even if they get through this game, they have to play Texas Tech on the road next week. Anyway, in my opinion, Oklahoma State has a better shot to beat Texas than either Missouri or Oklahoma did. Why? Because Oklahoma State has a better offense than either of those teams. Oklahoma is a paper tiger and Missouri is a one trick pony (Daniel to Macklin for six). The problem Texas will have is that this is going to dissolve into a shoot-out and Oklahoma State has nothing to lose.


3) No. 7 Georgia at No. 13 LSU – 3:30 on CBS

I have my issues with the SEC this year, but more on that later. This is going to be an ugly one. Neither team has really lived up to expectations nor is either team solid offensively at this point. Expect both teams to rely on their running games to try and win it, but Georgia could air it out if Stafford gets his groove back. This game will be won defensively as both are really good defensive teams. Expect a low scoring affair.


4) No. 8 Texas Tech at No. 23 Kansas – 12:00 on ESPN

I don’t know when I got excited about the Big 12, but I’m ready to be counted as a fan. I’ll admit that I like Kansas, but this game doesn’t look good for them. They lost in the shootout that broke out in last weeks game against Oklahoma and this game has all the same markings. Offensively, Texas Tech is sounder than Oklahoma and will fling the ball all over the field. Tech just needs to make sure it’s not looking ahead to Texas next week.


5) No. 2 Alabama at Tennessee – 7:45 on ESPN

I’m not completely sold on Alabama yet. They seem to have everything they need to win but something doesn’t feel right. You ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach? Maybe it’s just some bad cheese. The whole Alabama team ingesting bad cheese is the only way Tennessee has a shot to win this one. Of course, this could be the game where John Parker Wilson finally implodes in on himself. One thing I’ve learned is that you can never be sure when it’s an SEC conference game.


6) Auburn at West Virginia – 7:30 on ESPN on 10/23

Remember when these two teams were highly ranked? What happened? Oh yeah, losses to LSU, Vandy, and Arkansas for Auburn (not to mention pitiful wins against Miss State and Tennessee) and losses to East Carolina and Colorado for West Virginia. I would laugh, but I’m a Clemson fan.

Extra Point:

7) Earlier this season, I wrote somewhere that the National Championship Game would and/or should be USC against whoever made it out of the SEC. I will now admit I was wrong, but not about USC. I’m not buying the SEC anymore. I still think its one of the toughest conferences but no team there would scare me if I was an opponent.

Each team in the conference is flawed in some way (just wait for the other shoe to drop in Alabama). When I say “flawed”, I don’t mean “they’re secondary is a little sketchy”, I mean “their Quarterback looks like he poo-ed himself on the sidelines”. The only team I can really point to that is good is Florida, but they’re schizophrenic.

I don’t know what to expect from them. Just when you are feeling good about them, they go ahead and douse their drawers against Ole Miss. Granted, if Alabama wins out, they deserve to be in the National Championship Game, but do you really see that happening?

The Fringe of Good TV

As I promised when I wrote my hiatus post, I have to write about Life on Mars, Fringe, and 90210. I mean, I wrote that I would, and that’s pretty much a written contract, and I can’t break the law. I only fracture it on occasion.

Anyway, let’s talk about the new shows. Without a doubt, Fringe is the best new show on TV. Of course, that’s like saying that Sarah Palin is the hottest VP candidate in this election. She really doesn’t have any competition so she wins by default (anyone who challenges with Joe Biden gets slapped). That being said, I like the show, its fun. Example, throughout the whole first episode, every time Joshua Jackson made it on screen, I would exclaim either “Pacey” or “Captain Duck” (using my Gunner Stahl voice).

I was talking with Seamus about this show, and while he likes the concept he doesn’t like the solutions. Now, that’s all well and good, but if you’re willing to accept that some chick can get pregnant, give birth, and have her kid die of old age all in the same day, you sort of have to give a little leeway to how they come about the solution. My only reservation about the show so far is that Dr. Bishop seems to have worked on a lot of weird stuff back in the 70’s and I don’t want it to be the same refrain week after week. I don’t want some episode where some fresh water trout takes down a luxury liner and have him be like “oh, well the government had us experimenting on how to use marine life to take out Soviet subs, someone must be using our research.”

Let’s go from the good to the bad. 90210 is a steaming pile of crap. Now, it does have some redeeming qualities. I like it when Rob Estes does Rob Estes type things. I swear, you put him in a loud sports jacket and hand him a gun and he could be Detective Chris Lorenzo once again (man, I miss Silk Stalkings). Having some of the old gang back is good and I actually like some of the new kids. By some, I mean the kid who plays Navid and the chick who plays Silver. The others are merely passable and the chick who plays Naomi makes me want to gouge out my eyes. She looks like she had a botched sex change operation and her acting is utterly horrible (the whole scene where she confronts her mother about her father’s affair is laughable).

I’m scared to watch Life on Mars. I have it sitting there on my DVR and I see it every time I go searching for something to watch. There is not possible way it can live up to the British version, since it was probably one of the best TV shows in the past 10 years. Let’s just get it out of the way and say that Jason O’Mara is no John Simm. Simm has pretty much turned into the modern day Robson Green. Meaning he can pretty much play any role you need him to play and knock it out of the park. He went from playing Sam Tyler to playing a completely over the top Master in Doctor Who. If that doesn’t say something, I don’t know what does.

It seems like the producers (and thank God they got rid of David E. Kelly) went with big names for casting. The British version was perfectly cast, so much so that they spun-off the whole crew to another show. Who knows if Harvey Keitel can pull off Gene Hunt in such a way that you love him even though he’s a sexist douche (Colm Meaney, who was originally cast, would have been perfect). But basically, you need O’Mara to carry the show like Simm did and I don’t know if he has the cache to do it.

One more thing I’m scared of was something the Duchess pointed out. The British show was great because it lasted just long enough (16 episodes). If this thing takes off, we are talking seasons upon seasons of the same concept. It’ll start to drag after a while. I mean, one season in the US is 22 episodes. So, yeah, I’m scared.

I know this isn’t a new show, but I need to talk about this week’s episode of Chuck. The big hype was that fact that Nicole Ritchie was guest staring, but they missed the boat on promoting another guest star. Nicole Ritchie’s husband in the show was Ben Savage. My reaction: “Holy shit, it’s Cory Matthews!!!” Throughout the whole show, I was saying things like “gee, why did you divorce Topanga” and “you know, Rider Strong never would have let you get shoved in that locker” and “Mr. Feeney would be so disappointed right now”. It was fun for the whole family, considering the Duchess had the look that said “One more Boy Meets World comment and I’m calling a divorce attorney”.

Honeymoon Spectacular

Relax and rejoice dear reader, for I have returned from my Honeymoon unharmed and jazzed to write again. Okay, enough of my self-aggrandizing. Note that I would have written this yesterday on my first day back to my soul-leeching job, but I was relearning how to type again.

For two whole weeks, I only typed once, and that was to defend myself on Bleacher Report. Here’s a tip for all you wannabe critics out there. If you going to rip someone’s point to shreds, at least make it a habit to actually read the article and comprehend the main point, otherwise you sound like a jackass and don’t have to write the follow-up “oops, I’m sorry” response.

Anyway, my Honeymoon was split in two. One week at an undisclosed Happiest Place on Earth in Central Florida and one week at an undisclosed Caribbean Island. Unnamed Happiest Place on Earth was fun. Got to have all the enjoyment a kid would have, except with the ability to drink myself around the world at the unnamed World Showcase. My only issue was that one night, in the room next to ours, some family decided to let there kid cry himself out, which took upwards of two hours to complete. I wanted to jam a screwdriver in my ears, or a fork in the parent’s forehead. I’m assuming the fork would have been more fun.

Now, my flight from unnamed Happiest Place on Earth to unnamed Caribbean Island took off at 6 AM and included a 3 hour layover. So, anyone accustomed to flying knows that you need to get to the airport a least 3 hours early. That night, I learned that getting no sleep is preferable to getting one hour of sleep. Ugh. I slept in the bus to the airport, on both flights (through take-off and landing) and in the terminal during the layover (I woke myself up snoring…and the Duchess’s laughter). Hey, it beat watching the same CNN stories over and over and over again. Look, I’m on vacation, I don’t care that the stock market went down nearly 800 points and that you pray to Obama every night. I want to get away from that crap for two weeks.

Anyway, we get to the hotel at the unnamed Caribbean Island and instead of going up to my room; we need to cool our heels in the hotel bar for an hour while they get the room ready. The Duchess and I proceed to order frozen alcoholic beverages and nearly laugh at the expense of the drinks until we realized it wasn’t a joke. $20 for a margarita and strawberry daiquiri? Seriously?

Two highlights of the hotel room. One, I needed to order a refrigerator from the front desk. I’m not making this up; it actually said this in the “this is your room” guide in the room. Two, we got hit by what some might consider a tropical storm (and by some, I mean meteorologists). We had satellite TV in our room, so with the storm, we got two Spanish channels and nothing else. Well, I’m flipping though the channels anyway and suddenly, the unthinkable happens (or if I were a 15 year old, jackpot).

For some reason, the porn channel was unscrambled. Now, I knew it was porn right away because…um…..well, it was showing a close up for what makes porn porn. Now, before you think “lucky bastard”, this wasn’t Stormy Daniels and Peter North here. The chick looked like she was doing this to score her next meth hit and the guy looked like he wanted to hit the food table before the crew got to it. It was taking place in someone’s backyard (I think I saw a kiddie pool in the background). Seriously, this was a step above fetish porn. Thankfully, the Duchess came into the room so I didn’t get to see how it “ended”.

I finished about even after a week long descent back into gambling. The Duchess once again proved to be the perfect wife by not only playing Caribbean Stud with me, but by cursing the dealer when he didn’t open during her plethora of straights. My wife could make a trucker blush. I also was able to walk to the casino on Saturday morning to the local sports book and take Texas and the 7 points (win for me). You should have sent he degenerate gamblers at a sports book at 11 AM on a Saturday morning. Not to mention the employees taking the bets and wearing the best “kill me now” looks on their faces. Of course, I was there, so I’m not sure what it was saying about me.

Minus rolling black-outs and flooded streets, it was a good time. I got some sun, got to relive my gambling addiction, got to drink some good local beer, and have more bug bites than I know what to do with. Now, before you think I either had a bad time or am one of those wet blankets who puts a bad spin on everything, it’s not that way at all. I have a great time and am only pointing out all the weird and obnoxious stuff because it’s funny. Well, it’s funny now.

The Hiatus

Well, you're probably wondering why there isn't a Trent's Touchdown for week 6. Well, there isn't going to be one for weeks 7 & 8 either. Nor will I have some scathing review of some poorly executed TV show (I'm looking at you "Knight Rider"). Why? Well, the Duchess relented and decided to marry me. Yes, last week, you're truly tied the knot.

So, this week, we are off on a 2 week Honeymoon to parts unknown. Since I'll have virtually no access to a computer, this means no mean spirited, slightly hurtful, and wickedly funny posts from me. Once I get back, the gloves come off. I hope to tell you all how I feel about "Fringe", "Life on Mars" (please don't ruin my memory of the original), and "90210", as well as bring back the Touchdown for week 9.

Just think, while you're all huddled around your TV's next Saturday watching the Red River Shootout, I'll be sitting in a Caribbean sportsbook taking Texas and the points, while smoking a Cuban cigar and drinking rum. Sometimes life is good.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 5

I think its official. If you don’t get pumped up watching SEC games, there is something seriously wrong. The Duchess was even sitting on the edge of her seat for the end of the LSU/Auburn game and she only has a passing interest in football. I may suffer a heart attack if we get week in and week out of this. Anyway, on to the Touchdown.

1) No. 8 Alabama at No. 3 Georgia – 7:45 PM on ESPN

Don’t let the score fool you (as much as 27-10 can fool anyone), Georgia completely man-handled Arizona State. A.J. Green was channeling Randy Moss (you know, when Moss tries) and I think Knowshon Moreno was wearing Superman’s cape when he made that dive into the end zone.

If you look at it, Georgia and Alabama have a lot in common. They both have great running backs, dynamic freshman receivers, and good quarterbacks (though I believe Stafford is better than Wilson). However, this won’t be a barn burner. Both have very tough defenses and this one will come down to the last play. I expect Georgia to prevail.

2) No. 22 Illinois at No. 12 Penn State – 8:00 PM on ABC

Penn State’s biggest question coming into this game going to be where Joe Paterno coaches from, the field or press box. That’s a good problem to have. If I where a Penn State fan, I would be more concerned about Juice Williams. He can take off when the pressure gets to him and can throw it down field when needed. This isn’t the same guy from last year.

However, Penn State has a quick defense that will try and contain and pressure him. Should be interesting, but Penn State will pound the ball and win this one.

3) No. 24 TCU at No. 2 Oklahoma – 7:00 PM on local channels

This game makes me physically ill, if only because Oklahoma fans will point to it and say “see, a quality opponent, we deserve to be No. 2”. Yeah, sure.

Listen, Oklahoma is going to win this one and there is one reason why. You can’t win a shootout with Oklahoma. You just can’t. You need a good defense to beat them. You harass Sam Bradford and he’ll buckle like a belt. TCU won’t be able to do it.

4) No. 1 USC at Oregon State – 9:00 PM on ESPN (9/25)

USC rolls into Oregon State with everyone wondering if they can be beat. Truth be told, I’m wondering the same thing. Dismantling Virginia and Ohio State has that effect on people.

As for this game, USC is going to do what they always do, run, pass, tackle, and beat you into submission. They only question about this game is when we see back-up Aaron Corp taking snaps from center.

5) Tennessee at No. 15 Auburn – 3:30 on CBS

I would not want to be Tennessee this week. First, you get beat down by Florida last week and now you have to face an Auburn team that wants to take out their frustrations on someone due to their loss to LSU.

I’m not saying Auburn is great, they have some issues at quarterback, but their running game is superb and their defense is nasty. Get the whirlpool ready for Jonathan Crompton because he’s going to get knocked around by Auburn.

6) Minnesota at No. 14 Ohio State – 12:00 PM on Big Ten Network

Hey, Beanie Wells should be back this week. As we all know, that makes all the difference. As a side note, I almost typed that all out without laughing.

Extra Point:

7) I’m saying it right now, the rankings system in college football makes no sense. I can’t provide a better solution, so don’t expect this rant to have any mind-altering equation to figure it all out. How about just using common sense.

A few weeks ago Georgia was ranked 2 and Oklahoma was at 3. Oklahoma completely thrashes Washington 55-14 while Georgia beats South Carolina 14-7. Oklahoma then jumps Georgia in the rankings. Does that make sense? Who do you think is a tougher opponent? The only question is “how many touchdowns would South Carolina be favored by over Washington?”

If both of these teams goes undefeated and Georgia is on the outside looking in, well, there is no justice. If it’s Oklahoma on the outside, I’ll cackle with delight.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 4

While I am willing to admit that Week 3 wasn’t all it could have been, I sure as hell beat out the first two weeks in regards to watchability. I was pretty much in front of the TV for 12 hours straight for college football fun, much to the chagrin of the Duchess. It’s not like we’re getting married in a two weeks or anything. Oh, wait a minute….

Anyway, on to the Touchdown:

1) No. 6 LSU at No. 10 Auburn – 7:45 PM on ESPN

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you have to love SEC match-ups. This one’s going to be a grudge match. You can go on and on about Charles Scott at running back, but his yards came against Appalachian State and North Texas. I could average 100 yards a game against those two teams. In fact, I probably would have picked Auburn, except the stinker they put up against Miss. State. Yeah, the defense was great, but only a field goal from the offense. You can’t pull that crap against LSU. This will be a close, low scoring defense game. The team who makes the last mistake will lose (probably Auburn).

2) No. 3 Georgia at Arizona State – 8:00 PM on ABC

This would have been my number 1 game if ASU hadn’t poo-ed the bed against UNLV. I had to look at the a few times before I realized it wasn’t a joke. I love this game for Georgia, because they have actually scheduled a tough non conference opponent. No matter what happened last week, this won’t be a walk for Georgia. The one thing they don’t want is to get into a shoot-out with ASU, they don’t have the firepower. ASU learned from there mistake last week, which is don’t run more than you throw, at least not with Rudy Carpenter. ASU will air it out against the Georgia secondary, and they better hope to get some pressure on Carpenter, or it won’t be pretty.

3) No. 4 Florida at Tennessee – 3:30 PM on CBS

Normally, I would give a bunch of crap to Tennessee about how they suck, but I thought the same thing last year and they back-doored their way into the SEC Championship Game. Anyway, Florida has lots of firepower on both sides of the field. Tennessee is going to have to try and keep Percy Harvin contained and hope that Tim Tebow starts making mistakes. Tennessee needs to get their running game going to help Eric Crompton because if the game is in his hands, the Vols are in trouble.

4) Boise State at No. 17 Oregon – 3:30 PM on local channels

I’m telling you right now, if I were Jeremiah Masoli or Chris Harper, I would have an extra sturdy knee brace on. God must hate Oregon QB’s because if he is not making them like Akili Smith or Joey Harrington, he’s blowing out their knees. With that said, Oregon will probably stick to the running game to make sure they don’t put too much pressure on their new quarterback. However, Oregon needs to watch out because Boise State can put up points in a hurry. If Oregon can control the tempo, they should be fine.

5) No. 18 Wake Forest at No. 24 Florida State – 7:00 PM on ESPN2

I think I would be physically ill if I watched this game, but it is a bit interesting. Here’s a tip for all you teams that fell from glory, beat up on two weak opponents and get back into the top 25 on name recognition alone. FSU did it. I would sit here and say things like “FSU has the top offense in the country”, but they did it against Western Carolina and Chattanooga. No, seriously. On the other side, I like QB Riley Skinner of Wake Forest. He actually lead his team back to beat Ole Miss, you know, a real opponent. If Wake doesn’t win this game, and win it big, they only have themselves to blame.

6) No. 13 Ohio State at Troy – 12:00 PM on Big Ten Network

Gee, you think Ohio State can handle this one? After the stink job against USC, this Trojan team is more their speed.

Extra Point:

7) Did you see that smack down USC laid on Ohio State? I’m still giddy about it. It finally exposed OSU for the fraud team they are. However, I am here to help OSU with their problem, even if I don’t like them. The problem lies in recruiting.

Now, before all you OSU fans start flipping out, OSU has a very good recruiting system, but they miss one key position each and every time. A quarterback. If you seriously think that Todd Boeckman or Terrelle Pryor are leading your team anywhere but the “also ran” column, you need some serious help.

Now, what I’m saying is surround your already good team with a good quarterback, preferably a drop back quarterback with a strong arm and leadership skills. They aren’t that hard to find. Let’s see, you have Cullen Harper, Mark Sanchez, Curtis Painter, Todd Reesing, Chase Daniel, Matt Stafford, Matt Grothe, Riley Skinner, Colt McCoy, Graham Harrell, and John Parker Wilson. Those are just off the top of my head and I know I’m missing some.

Put any of those quarterbacks on OSU and you have a significantly better team that might actually be able to beat a good opponent. Or keep recruiting stiffs like Boeckman and get blown out by teams from the SEC and Pac-10. Whatever works.

White Trash Heaven

I realize that as of late, I’ve been ignoring my non-sports reading fans. So, fear not, I’m about to astound you with tales that have absolutely nothing to do with real sports.

Over Labor Day weekend, the Duchess and I returned to the state in which I was raised to; once again, expose her to the wonder that is the Vermont State Fair. The best way to sum up the Fair is a comment a friend of my Dad’s made when my Dad told him I was bring her. “Does he want to scare her off?” Oh yes, that is the Fair in a nutshell.

Now, the Fair has everything you could possibly want for fun-filled entertainment. You have rides, bad food (health wise), farm animals, pig races, country music, political kiosks, mouth-breathing locals, and people hocking shitty products. By shitty products, I mean everything from flimsy jewelry to campers. And I mean everything. The only thing they didn’t have was the one thing I wanted, which was the Sham-Wow. You know, that product you see on TV being sold by the guy who looks like he suffered a stroke about 5 minutes prior to taping. You know, it was made in Germany!!!

Anyway, after we filled ourselves with bad food sold by boosters of the local Catholic high school, we made our way to building that was holding bunnies for sale and a bunch of other animals. When we walk in, we see a cage holding two llamas. Let’s just say the llamas weren’t being shy about there affections (bumping uglies, knocking boots, making the beast with two backs, whatever you want to call it).

Now, I’m not trying to look. I’m making a conscious effort to seem interested in the beaver pelts some dude was displaying. It’s kind of tough when the Duchess is standing next to me looking to be cycling her emotions between confused, shocked, and laughing out loud. Not only that, but the llamas seemed to have attracted a crowd of slack-jawed on-lookers. Seriously people, go home and watch skin-a-max.

Well, I’m not a prude or anything, but I don’t need to stare at two llamas getting it on. Two things about the llama sex show before I continue. 1) The male llama would have no issues if there was ever a market for llama porn. 2) She seemed about as thrilled as I am whenever I heard about a delay on my commuter rail line (or as I refer to it, the Seventh Circle of Hell).

As soon as I was able to extricate myself from that building, we made our way up to the cow milking area. Thankfully, no animal sex was going on. Basically, three cows were led in and hooked up to a machine to milk them. The Duchess and I found this oddly fascinating, spending a solid 30 minutes there, even making bets on which cow would fill up there milk container first. After this, we decided to leave the fair for a few hours before returning for the main event.

The main event happened to be a demolition derby. Oh boy, oh boy. Now, for the uneducated, a demolition derby is basically a bunch of cars smashing into each other until only one car is left running. My Dad scored us second row seats so the possibility of getting hit with flying dirt, rocks, and/or car parts was high. It seemed like every driver had their own cheering section and I’m pretty sure I had more teeth than any other spectators combined. It basically went as you would expect. One added bonus was the fact that they needed to get the losing car heaps off the track.

No self-respecting tow truck driver was going to do it, so the fair let people in for free if they would tow some demolished cars. So, you had a handful of rape vans and pickup trucks that would come out and tow off the cars at the end of each round. Two things stood out here.

One was that one of the pickups had four people, a guy and girl in the cab and a guy and girl in the back of the pickup. Nothing says a Saturday night out with your dates like towing cars at the demolition derby. Of course, its Vermont, so that is pretty much a high quality date.

Two was one of the other pickups was proudly flying the Confederate flag. Yes, you read that correctly. A quick history lesson here about the state of Vermont. They were the first state to outlaw slavery in it Constitution. It is also the northern most state in which a Civil War battle took place. Oh yeah, IT WAS ALSO IN THE UNION. What a bunch of mouth-breathing, inbred, bango-strumming hicks. Go back to Indianapolis where you belong.

After it was over, I knew my experience could only go downhill from there, so we took off. All and all, it was a pretty good time. You know, if you take the overt racism and animal sex all in stride.

Patriots Karma and the Matt Cassel Era

I was recently reading a NFL Week 2 article from a certain ESPN hack writer, who shall remain nameless, and he was writing about the Patriots/Jets game. The unnamed ESPN hack writer, lets call him Sill Bimmons, basically told us all the give up on the Matt Cassel era before it begins and Tom Brady’s injury was due to bad karma from the Spygate thing. Oh, were to begin. Let’s break this down without sounding too irrational and bitter.

One, I am seriously trying to talk myself into the Matt Cassel era. I continually try and forgot things about him that I would make fun of other team’s QB’s for. Like the fact that he hasn’t started a game since high school or that he looked like he was playing drunk during the preseason. That stuff would just give me a headache. I try and find solace in the fact that he was backup to two Heisman trophy winners in a pro style offense at one of the best college football programs. Or that he is backup to one of the best QB’s in the NFL. Or that he knows the offensive system since he’s been there a few years. Or the fact that the Patriots are masters of dumbing down an offense for QB’s thrown into bad situations. This is evidenced by 2001 with Tom Brady. They stayed away from all his weakness (like the deep out routes) and played to his strengths (like dump passes to running backs). This has got to count for something. Right? Anyone?

Two, and the part that really got me, was the fact that this was some sort of cosmic retribution for the team’s past indiscretions. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP. To Sill Bimmons and everyone else who believes this, there is no such thing as karma in sports. If there was, Ted Williams would have won a World Series. Things like Brady’s injury happen just because they do. Team karma and silly superstitions by fans do not determine the outcome of sporting events, the actions of athletes on the field does. So, you don’t have to wear the same clothes, or sit in the same chair, or read the Boston Herald Sports Section (that’s my Dad) in order for your favorite team to win.

So, if you think the Jets are going to win because they have a better team, or because the last time the Pat’s QB started a game was before his Senior Prom, or any other reason that involves the play on the field, then fine. However, if you think the Jets will win because karma is against the Pats, well, you need some serious help.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 3

Do you know how painfully boring Week 2 was to watch? In the middle of the afternoon, I debated whether to watch the Clemson/Citadel game on ESPN360 (I ended up watching the third quarter) or “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” (I watched up until the end of the second task). I pretty much ended up zoning out during the East Carolina/West Virginia game, but did watch the last series of the Washington/BYU debacle.

Anyway, we finally get to a fairly competitive week, even if I’ll find myself coasting until 8:00. Just for fun, I thought about completely leaving off game 1, but decided even I’m not that coy. Anyway, on with the Touchdown.

1) No. 5 Ohio State at No. 1 USC – 8:00 on ABC – Everyone seems to think this game hinges on just how healthy Beanie Wells is. Let me say this, Beanie Wells could channel Reggie Bush and OSU would still get the beat down. There are two main reasons for this. One, USC is just a great team on both sides of the ball. There offense is high flying and the defense is hard hitting. Two, the OSU Quarterback is Todd Boeckman. I wouldn’t trust him to make a tuna fish sandwich, let alone run my team against the best team in the nation. But, if the first two weeks proved anything, I don’t exactly have a great track record in picking who will win.

2) No. 13 Kansas at No. 19 South Florida – 8:00 on ESPN2 on Friday – Either both of these teams are underrated or both are overrated, there really is no in-between here. Kansas has looked impressive so far, but there competition isn’t exactly high caliber. South Florida, on the other hand, had some issues last week with Central Florida. In my opinion, Kansas has the better Quarterback in Reesing, but they aren’t going to surprise anyone this year. South Florida will play them tight, but I expect Kansas to win.

3) No. 2 Georgia at South Carolina – 3:30 on CBS – When all is said and done, I think that the National Championship Game should be between USC and whoever makes it out of the SEC. Georgia could very well be that team. This is the first real test for Georgia in their “heightened expectations” season, where anything less than the National Championship is a failure. I’ll give Mark Richt credit for playing the “nobody respects you” card to Knowshon Moreno in the media, but seriously, it was just a dumb highlights piece. I give Georgia the edge, but you never really know when two SEC clash, especially when Steve Spurrier is involved.

4) No. 10 Wisconsin at No. 21 Fresno State – 10:30 on ESPN2 – An overrated Big Ten team? That never happens (a little sarcasm for all you OSU haters out there). Is there an uglier Top 10 team than Wisconsin? Fresno State on the other hand is fun to watch, even if they have balanced their offensive attack more. Plus, they actually have a competent defense, which kind of shocked me. They get credit because they’ve actually played a good opponent on the road and won, unlike Wisconsin, who played Akron and Marshall at home. Fresno State wins and makes me think even more that they should join the Pac 10.

5) No. 16 Oregon at Purdue – 3:30 on ABC – I’m putting this game here for two reasons. One, it’s an overt attempt to kiss up to the Duchess, since she’s a big Oregon fan. Two, I think Purdue is better than they get credit for. I am a big fan of Curtis Painter and the Purdue passing attack. They did have the top offense in the Big Ten last year and this was due to the success of Painter. They will catch someone napping on them, just not Oregon (who happens to have the top offense in the nation). By the by, after Oregon lost a Quarterback to a season-ending knee injury for the second straight year, would you really want to be a Quarterback there?

6) No. 14 East Carolina at Tulane – 3:00 on local channels – Who wouldn’t laugh if East Carolina took the pipe here? Come on, don’t be shy, it would be hilarious. Although, maybe not if you rooted for Virginia Tech or West Virginia.

Extra Point:

7) Please note if you’re an Oklahoma fan, it would be good if you stopped reading now. You’ve been warned. Alright, I was watching a halftime show on ABC (I think) and they were babbling about all the good Quarterbacks in the Big 12. I slowly nodded my head, as I give big thumbs up to Todd Reesing, Chase Daniel, and Graham Harrell. However, the first Quarterback they mentioned was Sam Bradford.

Um, excuse me? Someone name me the last good Quarterback from Oklahoma (and so help me God if someone says Jason White). Oklahoma is a woefully overhyped team that gets exposed for there true colors when facing quality opponents, which is probably why they don’t schedule any for non-conference games.

I cringe at the thought of them making it unscathed through the Big 12 (a distinct possibility) and making it to the National Championship Game. Why? Because they’ll get blown out by USC, Georgia, or anyone else they face (minus OSU, they can’t beat anyone of quality either). As for Bradford, here’s a phrase you may want to learn after your football career ends at Oklahoma: “Do you want fries with that?”

Trent's Touchdown - Week 2

I do have to say, writing this week’s Touchdown was tough. Not as tough as the ACC had it last week, but tough none the less. Everyone who is a straight college football fan is looking forward to the throw-down next weekend between Ohio State and USC. In fact, let’s get through this as quickly as possible so we can get closer to next weekend.

1) Miami at No. 5 Florida – 8:00 on ESPN
Rivalry games are so fun, especially early in the season. While not your regular cut and dry rivalry, I think this fully qualifies. While most of the U’s players were most worried about prom dates less than 2 years ago, Florida has the experience and the talent. I’m not saying Miami isn’t close to resurrecting itself once again, but Florida has enough talent to just beat you into submission. Of course, it doesn’t help the Miami’s starting QB is making his debut.

2) Stanford at No. 15 Arizona State – 10:07 on local networks
Woohoo, Pac-10 showdowns early in the season. Raise your hand if you’re excited. If we’ve learned anything from last season (besides the need for a playoff), it’s “don’t sleep on Stanford.” Now, I’m not expecting Stanford to light the world on fire here, but I expect them to be competitive. Rudy Carpenter should have enough firepower to get past Stanford, but they are going to need their ground game to help out.

3) Mississippi at No. 20 Wake Forest – 3:30 on ABC
The reason this gets number 3 is because it’s yet another ACC/SEC clash in which the ACC is expected to win. If Clemson proved anything last week (besides how to look completely foolish) it was that the SEC is a far superior conference (duh!). However, as long as Ole Miss doesn’t wet themselves before kick off, they should consider it a moral victory. All kidding aside, Wake should win, considering they have more talent and are not playing with a new offense, but I can’t forget the last two Clemson games.

4) Oregon State at No. 19 Penn State – 3:30 on ABC
Penn State is breaking Trent’s third rule of college football, which reads “Pick one QB and stick with him!!!!”. The revolving door at QB is never a good thing. The Beavers have a good offense, even if it is prone to the turnover. You don’t want to get down to Penn State, since they can move the ball. Both have good defenses, so it may come down to who makes the fewest errors, and that favors Penn State.

5) No. 8 West Virginia at East Carolina – 4:30 on ESPN
I was ready to gloss over this game until I remembered that ECU beat Virginia Tech last week (a VT loss is always a good thing). While WVU only had about half of the total offense last week as they averaged all year, Pat White was nearly automatic when throwing the ball. This plans to be a near weekly thing, since the new coach has promised more passing. ECU has more talent this year than they did when they got thrashed by WVU last season, but don’t expect another upset.

6) All pregame shows in case they mention next weeks Ohio State/USC game

Extra Point

7) The first week of college football thought us a few things. It taught us to always expect the upset, that USC is going to run rough shot over anyone in their path, that the ACC can’t beat quality opponents, that marshmallow schedules aren’t fun, that the injury bug can hit anyone at anytime, and that it’s so good to have college football back.

Trent's Touchdown - Week 1

Due to the Olympics, my whole sports attention was focused on Beijing. I completely forgot that other sports existed (hence why I haven’t said one word about the Red Sox or soccer). So, I was caught off-guard when my father mentioned the Clemson game for this coming Saturday. I had forgotten that college football was right around the corner.

For those of you who know me, this means one thing, the first edition of Trent’s Touchdown. I’ll run down the top six weekly match-ups and throw in an extra point at the end. Anyway, enough with the babbling, on to the Touchdown (all game are Saturday unless otherwise noted).

1) Alabama (24) vs. Clemson (9) (in Atlanta) (8:00 on ABC) – Ever since Clemson got their clock cleaned by Auburn in the Peach Bowl; I’ve been looking forward to this game. We all know how good Clemson will be on both sides of the ball, but their offensive line is suspect. In order to win, they need to open holes for James Davis and give Harper time to throw. I don’t exactly trust their linebacking core either. Alabama had a disappointing year in terms of record, but they kept every game close and had a great recruiting class. There running game is solid if John Parker Wilson is having accuracy problems. They’ll give Clemson a test, but the Tigers should win.

2) Missouri (6) at Illinois (20) (in St. Louis) (8:30 on ESPN) – What a change 12 months makes. Last year, no one really cared for either of these teams, now; they’re both in the top 25. Missouri is lead by QB Chase Daniel, who will be in the running for the Heisman Trophy. The no huddle, spread offense of Missouri should cause Illinois fits. However, Illinois will counter with Juice Williams, who either finally made the leap last year or just flashed in the pan. Williams is trying to develop himself into a pocket passer, which should be fun to watch. I have $5 that says he’s running around before the end of the First Quarter.

3) Appalachian State at LSU (7) (5:00 on ESPN) – Oh come on, I had to mention it. LSU will utterly thrash them, but after what happened in Ann Arbor, this game needed to make the list.

4) USC (3) at Virginia (3:30 on ABC) – Of all the things that have made me start to turn against USC, I do love there non-conference schedule this year. They travel to Virginia and then get home games against Notre Dame and Ohio State. Once again, USC implants yet another All-American into the QB spot, giving Mark Sanchez his due (I like Mitch Mustain). Though there offense will be a question mark until we actually see something, there defense will be top notch. While Virginia got by last year on guile and experience, they won’t have the same luck this year as they only have 10 starters returning. Look for USC to walk on this one.

5) Hawaii at Florida (5) (12:30 on ESPN Gameplan) – This game comes a season too late for Hawaii. After being ridiculed for a marshmallow schedule last year, Hawaii finally reins in a real opponent, yet without Colt Brennan or June Jones. Florida on the other hand has the reigning Heisman Trophy winner and one of the best offenses in the country. While there defense is questionable, Hawaii should give them some good practice, which they will need before taking on the SEC.

6) Tennessee (18) at UCLA (8:00 on ESPN) – Once again, I’ll give props to Tennessee for opening against a real opponent. How Tennessee won the SEC East last year is still a mystery to me, but don’t expect a repeat. With Erik Ainge gone, Tennessee hands the reins over to Jonathan Crompton, who will try and get the ball to Arian Foster and just stand aside. Normally, I would give UCLA a chance, but since they really don’t have a QB (apologies to Kevin Craft), I really don’t expect much from them.

Extra Point:

7) The extra point will be the same lament I have every year at this time. It’s tough picking good games at the beginning of the year since most colleges pick teams like St. Mary’s Nunnery as opponents. While this does have its problems (look at Hawaii last year), most teams face no ill effects from this. While we all want the Appalachian State/Michigan replay, that only happens once in a lifetime. So, major props to USC going out and taking on all comers. If they win it all, no one can complain about their schedule. Well, someone will complain, but we just won’t listen to them.

Nastia Liukin Was Robbed

Location: Red Army Listening Post #37 – Beijing Municipality
Transmission: Beijing Police Department, Main Line
Time: 4:30 PM, Tuesday 19 August 2008
Transcribed and Translated By Corporal F. Xiang

Start Transmission

Male Caller: Hello, Beijing Police Department, this is Sergeant Fu, how may I help you?

Female Caller: Hello, my name is Nastia Liukin, and I would like to report a robbery.

Fu: Okay ma’am, I can help you. Can you please tell me where this robbery occurred?

Liukin: Yes, it occurred at the Gymnastics venue of the 2008 Summer Olympics at the uneven bars.

Fu: What was stolen?

Liukin: It was a small, round object, gold in color, hanging from a green sash, to be hung around the neck. It’s called the Gold Medal

Fu: Was anything left behind?

Liukin: I was left with the same sort of object, yet it was silver in color.

Fu: Do you have any idea who may have stolen you’re Gold Medal or where it may be now.

Liukin: Oh, I know. It’s currently around the neck of Chinese gymnast He Kexin and was stolen by the judges. I have a video tape of the whole incident if you want.

Fu: The tape would be helpful. Why would they steal this Gold Medal from you?

Liukin: Because they are incompetent.

Fu: That’s not really a reason. Plus, being incompetent isn’t against the law. If it were, 90% of the people would be in jail.

Liukin: But it was stolen from me! I put in a better routine, yet some judge from Australia who was probably thinking about kangaroo’s makes all the difference! Can you name a gymnast from Australia? I don’t think they even know what gymnastics is down there. That tie-breaker was crap.

Fu: True, but isn’t this judge a fully accredited and trusted member of the judging community? Didn’t you know the rules going into this?

Liukin: Well, yes, but that’s not the point. The top reward should go to the top performer.

Fu: Agreed, but you participated in an event where points are awarded based on perception and emotion. Next time, I suggest you pick a sport that is grounded in more solid rules of scoring. I hear swimming is popular.

Liukin: Why I never!

Fu: I’m going to be honest with you Ms. Liukin; nothing is going to happen here. We have been getting complaints like this all Olympics long. Listen, as much as I would like to listen to you rant all day….

Liukin: I’M NOT RANTING!

Fu: Sure you’re not. Anyway, I think I just heard someone say “Tibet” and that’s punishable by 10 years in prison, so I have to go.

Liukin: So, no gold medal for me?

Fu: Sorry. You may deserve it, but you’re not getting it.

Liukin: Alright.

Fu: Oh, one more thing. You think you could get me a date with Alicia Sacramone? I think she’s hot.

Liukin: ICK!!!

End Transmission.