Why Indianapolis Sucks

I’m going to start out by saying I’m probably the most apathetic person you’ll ever met. Most of the time, I could really care less about anything that doesn’t effect me personally. Probably not the best character trait to admit, but hey, I don’t really care. With that said, I was horrified by the treatment of a 14 year old girl at the Indy/San Diego game on Sunday.

When the winners of the Punt, Pass, and Kick competition were announced, I took the time to go grab another beer, not really caring about far some 11 year old can toss a football. I get back in time to hear booing on the TV. I stopped and wondered why there would during the introduction of kids, I rewound my DVR and found out that young Anna Grant (the 14 year old winner of the 14-15 year old section) was being booed by the Indy fans for being so outrageous as to wear a Patriots jersey. She’s a 14 year old girl and she was booed by the crowd. (Author’s Note, the following will be directed at the fans who booed her and those who thought it would be a good idea but were too drunk to figure it out). I have one thing to ask. Why would you loser, toothless, alcoholic, slack-jawed, mouth breathing, inbred, mullet wearing ass-clowns boo a 14 year old girl? Is your life really that pathetic that you have to boo a teenage girl wearing a Patriots jersey? If she was in the crowd, would you have dumped your beer on her head? Seriously. I hope when you got back to your trailer park and put on your stained wife-beater and started to drink the moonshine your brother/uncle distilled through the radiator of the rusted out car on blocks next to his trailer you got enough satisfaction out of booing the teenage girl so you didn’t have to beat your cousin/wife for the night. What part of you actually thought “you know what; I’m going to boo this girl”? Was it the fact that she’s probably better at sports now than you ever were in your welfare check cashing life? Well, thankfully, you have another long winter to think about how your team screwed up in the playoffs again, and you can keep warm by watching your slow-witted Quarterback commercials for everything from anti-freeze (which will help in the distillation of the moonshine) to some local ambulance chaser (which you’ll need the next time you get nailed for DUI for driving your moped down the street after splurging on Budweiser at the local dive bar). There is a special place in hell reserved for you were you will be seated between Pol Pot and the Bay City Rollers for the rest of eternity.

The silver lining of this story is that the Patriots actually look like the good guys in all this, since they provided tickets to the girl and her family for this weekend’s AFC Championship Game (you know, the game Indy players will be watching). She will also get honored before the game on the field, where she will get the proper reception. Maybe your redneck hicks should watch on your small, rabbit-eared TV’s, you might learn something about respect.