Dane Cook, Fringe, and Other Thoughts

It’s been way too long, I know. Hopefully, some random thoughts will make up for it.

I was rewatching Jim Gaffigan’s Hot Pockets bit on YouTube the other day and wondered if anyone has ever had a heart attack while watching a comedian and laughing hard? Maybe even hyperventilated or pulled a muscle? Imagine the cred a comedian would get if this happened. The government would probably have to put up warning signs or something. Thankfully, Dane Cook would never have to worry about that.

Speaking of Cook, have we all finally come to the consensus that Dane Cook is not funny? How about that fact that he has no redeeming qualities whatsoever? My basic thought is that he wants to be an iconoclast, but really just comes off as a douche bag on speed. I remember everyone saying how funny he was then I watched one of his specials. I just thought he was loud and annoying.

Of course, Cook is your stereotypical Boston tool. It seems like they are all over the place. Seriously, when the Jersey Shore spinoff Wicked Summer hits MTV, you’ll see what I mean. You think it’s just coincidence that the spin-off takes place in Boston? Expect lots of Red Sox hats, horrible accents, and goof-bags thinking they are the best thing since sliced bread.

Speaking of the best thing since sliced bread, I still have yet to figure out if my favorite show on TV is Fringe or FlashForward. I cannot include Lost because Lost is not a TV show, it’s an experience. I mean, that Richard Alpert episode was probably one of the best hours of TV I have ever seen. Back to the Fringe/FlashForward debate, it just makes my brain hurt when I think about it and they are on back-to-back. You put Lost on at 10 PM on Thursday and I guarantee my head would explode.

Speaking of experiences, I recently read this article. Does it make me a bastard to laugh about a fight between a guy and his quadruple amputee girlfriend? This is seriously the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. I was talking to my buddy D.B. about it and we have an amazing idea. We want to stage this fight. This would be the main event, with two undercards. One would be Jose Canceso against a Kangaroo and the second would be Mike Tyson against a swarm of bees. So, if anyone knows how to contact Canceso and Tyson and knows someone who has a well-trained swarm of bees and a kangaroo, get in touch with me. And before you start thinking I’m some kind of monster, can you honesty say that you wouldn’t watch this? Yeah, I thought so.