Columns like this happen when you have a mix of no sports and writer’s block.
As any who doesn’t live under a rock knows, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer got himself caught up in a prostitution ring and ended up resigning. Nothing makes politics more interesting than a good, old fashioned sex scandal. There are so many reasons why. You have the fact that he paid over 4 grand to have this girl come to DC for the night, but yet cheaped out on her transportation costs, making her take a train that made a boatload of stops between the NYC and DC, instead of the express train. Plus, who pays over 4 grand for a prostitute? What does a girl do to get 4 grand? She would have to invent technique to be worth that much. The one major bright spot in all this? It makes the rest of us shiftless lay abouts look good by comparison. Your wife or girlfriend yells at you for not taking out the trash? Well, at least you’re not Spitzer and dropping 4 grand on a hooker and have it splashed all over the news for the next couple of days. Good times.
There was only one redeeming quality to the movie “The Neverending Story”. It was the fact that it ended.
Speaking of “The Neverending Story”, I heard a little while ago that Jonathan Brandis killed himself. Of course, this happened back in 2003, so I realized I never should have cancelled my “Jonathan Brandis Newsletter”. Anyway, not to promote suicide, but if you’re involved in “The Neverending Story II”, “Ladybugs”, and “Sidekicks”, you really need to kill yourself. There should be a law requiring it.
Speaking of shitty movies, have you seen ads for “Never Back Down”? This is basically a poor mans remake of “The Karate Kid”. You have the new kid who thinks he’s tough, the prick who is really tough, a mentor for the new kid, and some skirt causing trouble. My main problem with it (besides the fact it looks like it will cause my eyes to bleed if I watch it) is that the tough, evil kid doesn’t look like he has the cache to pull of the tour de force performance of an in-his-prime Billy Zabka did with Johnny Lawrence. I watch “The Karate Kid” now and I root for Johnny to kick the shit out of Daniel. I laugh when they run him off the road and when they get all dressed up in their skeleton outfits and beat the living crap out of him. The guy in this movie doesn’t look like he has any redeeming qualities. Of course, the movie doesn’t look like it has any redeeming qualities, but that’s beside the point.
God, I can’t wait until MLS starts, so I can start writing about sports again.
The most shocking thing about having the cell phone ring of a kid at work being the theme to “Knight Rider” wasn’t the fact that it was the theme to “Knight Rider”. It was the fact that we debated if the theme to “The Fall Guy” would have been cooler. If a reference to “The Fall Guy” isn’t a good way to end a column, I don’t know what is.
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